philia07

...

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 22:49:11 +0100

Oh please, talk to me. Do not avoid me.

Fuck fuck fuck... Why did I make him suffer so much?

Who the hell am I writing to? I feel ridiculous. I write some stuff that is probably nonsense to anyone that would read it. I don't even expect anyone to read it. I'm becoming pathetic. Writing for the sake of writing. But the problem is I don't have anyone to share my feelings with.

OK. that's it. am i still fifteen or something?

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alls good that nds well

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 18:18:32 +0100

My boyfriend has come. That means I cannot meet my friend anymore (Not that often). Its fucking unfair that nobody understands that friendship.

I miss him. I barely talk with him and if I do we do we don't understand each other any more. Or maybe we do understand but we cannot talk about it anymore. He doesn't want to meet me anymore. He says he's egoist and wants me exclusively. What is worse, he is getting angry at me, that he met me... no wonder. I would probably behave the same way. How come it happens that there are people like him... so helplessly lonely.

Ugh...it is so difficult. It was so carelessly with him. And now it is all worrying. Job, money, school... reality. I want my summer back. The best summer in my life.

A., thank you for that summer. There's no one day I didn't think about our walks, about the beer and vodka we drunk together, the food we ate and about that stupid, nonsense discussions of ours

Hug, 21

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-

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 23:13:49 +0200

Aerosmith - Don't wanna miss a thing
Phil Collins - Take a look at me now

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no title

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 16:51:57 +0200

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I hate the world today!!! I hate that he's so fucking lonely and I cannot help him. I hate that he's so unhappy.

And I hate that I cannot tell him and explain that I am as fucking lonely as he is, although I have a boyfriend...

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Dear A.

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 01:28:08 +0200

Thank you. Thank you for those feelings that I cannot name.
You're one of the best people I've ever met.

Feels so bad I cannot explain and share it with anyone...

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Oh shit!

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 01:10:20 +0200

That's so miserable.... it's probably the 3rd time I created a blog...wonder for how long this time?!

This time though I have actually something to write about.

I've got a well-worn question for a start: is male-female friendship possible? I've got the feeling that I am experiencing it at the moment and I feel so happy and proud about it! I like him, I like to spend time with him, I like to drink vodka at the beach with him, I like to chat via Skype with him, I like when he visits me at work, I like when he says 'that t-shirt doesn't suit you'. I love his sincerity...

I don't want to date him, I don't want to have sex with him , I don't want to raise his children, I don't want to tell him absolutely everything ... I want to do those things with my boyfriend who is far away at the moment.

And I am absolutely sure that my friend does not love me.

I'd like to share my happiness with somebody but I've already heard all those comments like "there's no such thing!", "he must be in love with you"...bla bla bla....

Can someone pls belive me? Can someone write "yes! i know what you mean" ???

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